Master Key Week 16 –

And the manifestation begins. Yippee!!!

I’m soooo happy. I got accepted – early! – into my top choice university. I’ll have an audition to their School of Music next week 😮 😀

This news is extra special not just because it’s my top choice university (with competitive early applications and everything) but because I put it in my DMP in late November, when I did my last draft. I was SO sure that I wanted to go there (and am still sure) – and it’s SO COOL! My DMP is beginning to come true…how wonderful! Now I have more confidence in the rest of it too!

Also, this week with the kindness focus has been great. It’s been nice to see my awareness of kindnesses go up every day – each little thing that one of my family members does for the other, or outside my house when I see people interacting with one another. It’s been rather difficult for me to achieve secret acts of kindness, but I’ve been making the effort to be kinder just in my everyday interactions…and I’ve been noticing and getting more grateful every day.

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. – Scott Adams

 

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Master Key Week 15

Back to the daily grind…hahaha. No more holidays, but it’s kind of nice to be back in my regular schedule – less temptation to slack off in anything!

It’s been pretty cool this week to observe the manifestations of the quality I’m working on. A nice change of focus from negative to positive.

I’ve also been having some experience with the very true statements of “Give more, get more” and “you receive exactly in proportion to what you give” – in love, work, and everything in general. I’ve been noticing my actions and the various reactions I get from my surroundings and the people around me. (Of course, it also helps that I’m studying physics and learning about Newton’s third law of “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”)

These affirmations that we’re doing are so helpful – if I happen to feel down, I just say to myself “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy!!!” And I emphasize whichever characteristic that I feel I’m lacking in that moment. And “I always keep my promises!” – gives me a good dose of integrity. How splendid to keep feeding myself positive thoughts! 🙂

Master Key Week 14 – Cool Runnings

I watched the movie Cool Runnings with my mom for the assignment this week. I loved it!

I’ll share the things we were supposed to look for: DMP, POA, PMA, and MMA.

DMP: The team had a goal and purpose of competing in the Winter Olympics bobsled race.

POA (Plan of Action): They trained in Jamaica in a pushcart and in Canada on the ice.

PMA: They didn’t give up – ever. Even though people laughed in their faces “a Jamaican bobsled team – really?” and tried to discourage them, the team kept their goal firmly in mind and persisted in positivity.

MMA: Mastermind alliance between the four men and the coach!

What a lovely movie. It was really inspiring. When I was watching it, I felt like these guys had been through the MKMMA course – there was even a bit of “The Guy in the Glass” in it!

Also, one thing that really stood out to me near the end of the movie was the importance of focus. The coach of the Jamaican bobsled team cheated in his own race 20 years earlier, and as a result had his two gold medals revoked. When Derice, the leader of the Jamaican bobsled team, inquired as to the coach’s reasoning, the coach replied that winning had been everything to him. He pointed out that if something is everything to you, then you have to keep on having/doing it. AND – if you’re not enough without gold medals, you won’t be enough with them. Wow – that is a really brilliant and insightful statement!

Master Key Week 14 – An Interesting Dream

Happy New Year everyone! 2016 has come, January has come…how exciting 🙂

I stayed up quite late last night (or early this morning), but my sleep rhythm woke me up at about 9 am. So, I got up, read Scroll IV for the first time…and then decided to go back to bed. The new scroll is pretty cool!

Well, I had a dream. It’s not really about Scroll IV; but it had some cool insights and so I figured I’d share it.

I was reading a new blog that had popped up in my email. This person detailed in his blog (and then I experienced what he was writing about) his first experience reading Scroll IV. He was sitting at the beach, he took out Og, flipped to Scroll IV, and began to read out loud. (I don’t know why this person was reading out loud in the morning!) He stumbled over the part about being “nature’s greatest miracle”. (It was at this point that I started experiencing the setting this person was writing about, so the narration will now be from my perspective.) Suddenly, a breeze whipped The Greatest Salesman into the ocean. I grabbed my second copy of The Greatest Salesman from my backpack and looked at Scroll IV again. “Well,” I thought, “if I’m nature’s greatest miracle and all that, I should really go get back my book.” So I plunged into the ocean after the book. Somehow, even though I couldn’t see it, I knew where the book was. I swam out a little farther, feeling the waves fighting against me. After a little while though, I realised that the waves had reversed their direction – instead of flowing back to shore, they were flowing out to sea. I could feel the potential of having the waves push me under, but then I decided to swim with them and let them help me and carry me to where I wanted to go.

I don’t remember the end of the dream, or if I ever finished reading this person’s blog post. But I do remember realising in the dream that in life, we’re all surrounded by various waves, pressures, etc. These pressures can pull us down, roll us over, tumble us and scrape us into the sand if we let them…or, we can embrace them and see them as things that will help us get to our goal. I think it was in Emerson’s essay on Compensation that I saw this phrase: “We gain the strength of the temptations we resist.” And of course we all know the saying of “Everything happens for a reason”. I can’t quite yet translate whatever my subconscious was thinking in that dream into words…but I think it’s cool! 🙂

To go along with this dream of mine…

I’ve been applying for scholarships for a little over half a year now. Some scholarships are lotteries, some are poetry contests, but most require an essay submission. I love the first two, but for years I “struggled to write decent essays”. I’m using quotation marks because that’s what I’ve been telling myself…and I realised that it’s actually not entirely true. I know how to write an outline, and an essay – it’s simply that I had a bad experience writing essays one year and grew to hate writing. And of course, if you don’t like something, it’s harder for you to improve at it. It also did not help that I struggled for over a year to write a 2-page essay in 25 minutes for the SAT. (I did overcome this three days before the SAT this year, and ended up with a perfect score on the writing section 🙂 ) So I haven’t had a great attitude toward essays. Well. Now I have to write essays for scholarships. Yuck/ew/noooo, right? Right. I HATED scholarship applications. Hated them wholeheartedly. Never mind that I could get lots of money for pursuing my music degree…my attitude was “I don’t like essays, I’m horrible at essays, so why bother – I won’t win, it’s no fun, it’s a waste of time…UGHHHH I hate scholarships!” (You’re probably wondering WHY on earth, with this attitude, I continued applying. The answer: my mother. She didn’t know these thoughts of mine; all she knows is that for some reason I’ve been strangely resistant to trying to get “free” money…) Of course, all of us MKMMA students know that this is an attitude for failure.

Ok, that’s the back story. Last week I sent my mom (who is an EXCELLENT writer!)  an essay that I had written for a scholarship. She just had a small, easily fixed problem with one paragraph. I fixed it and she was happy.

Two days ago I sent her a couple of essays for a music scholarship application. She only pointed out a typo, but she was in the middle of something then, so I expected that she would have more critiques later on. Yesterday she asked if I had sent in the application. I said, “No, I’m waiting on your feedback.”

“I gave you my feedback,” she replied.

I was incredulous. “You mean the typo? That was it?”

“Yes,” she said. My brain: WOW…cool!…Well…they were short little essays, just 200 words or less, so that’s probably why.

Yesterday, I sent her a 2 1/2 page essay for another scholarship. She read it, gave me some advice about the formatting, and began to move on to something else.

“So that’s it?” I asked.

“Mhm,” she replied. “Have you read it aloud?”

“No, not yet,” I said. “The formatting was the only thing?” I asked again.

“Yeah,” she said, looking at me with a why do you keep asking about this expression.

My brain: NO freaking way! I wrote a TWO AND A HALF PAGE ESSAY in 3 drafts and my mom the amazing writer has NO critiques other than FORMATTING? No way!

What I actually said: “So I’m getting better!?”

Understandably, I got a look from my mom as if I had just grown a second head. “You didn’t think that would happen?” she teased me.

“Well…you know I’ve had a hard time with essays.”

She then pulled up this graphic for me.

Don't give up

Scholarship applications are still not my favourite…service (I was going to say chore but I’ll be good haha). Nor can I promise that I’ll be any more enthusiastic about them. BUT. I’ve realised that even if I don’t win any scholarships, they’re not a waste of time. I get to strengthen a former weakness. I get consistent writing practice…so, when I go off to college, I’ll be able to write multiple-paged essays fairly confidently.

How does this tie in with my dream? There are things in our lives that we may not want…pressures that we feel we can’t resist…that can make life a little harder, a little less pleasant…but we can either let them drag us down into hate and dislike and fear – OR – we can look to the lessons we can learn and let them give us strength to swim to our dreams (or soar to new heights, or whatever image impacts you the most).

 

 

Master Key Week 13

“‘Tis the season to be jolly…”

Also, often it’s the season to be stressed, sick, distracted, etc. I’ve been slacking off with the MKMMA stuff…I’ve missed a few readings here and there, a couple of sits…and been rather unfocused and distracted. I know it’s bad, so on the days when I’ve failed, I don’t go and read “The Gal in the Glass”. It was rather astonishing to hear on the last webinar that this is normal. What a rotten feeling to feel yourself slacking off. 😦

I guess it’s the old blueprint trying to come back?…but my new blueprint is still growing and kicking – it’s not going down! I’m just going to cling to my promises and stay steady from now on. After all, what else is there to do but persist?

But not everything is bad – it never is. I had a wonderfully Merry Christmas. And I’m really loving the success index cards. It’s almost a little heady to write down and read 60-something successes in my life!

I fell, but I’m picking myself back up, and I’m going to keep on running towards the bright future I’ve created.

 

Master Key Week 12 – I am…

“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.”

The week we were supposed to start repeating that affirmation was the week I was sick. I said it in my head a few times and it made me feel better. I read the Master Key with the account of the man who kept up that affirmation and through it became a strong, healthy individual from a crippled child. So I understood the “whole” part as pertaining to health.

This week, however, I realised there could be a different meaning for “whole”. A synonym for “whole” is “complete”. Each one of us is made complete in ourselves.

I read an excellent blog post last week. One of the main insights that I got from it was that other people’s good opinions of you matter just as little as their bad opinions of you. It’s an opinion. Period. What matters is that you are good and that you know it and feel positive about yourself. Of course, good opinions are very nice to hear, and I’m not saying that they’re not beneficial…but we need to be secure in ourselves and not reliant upon those opinions.

Perhaps I was thinking about this point subconsciously enough so that I ended up having a week where I realised it more fully. We are complete in ourselves. Complete, not dependent upon the opinions of others. Perhaps…it is better to seek a peptide addiction to being satisfied with ourselves, rather than to compliments.

Food for thought.

 

Master Key Week 11 – Aha!

I had a marvelous insight in one of my piano practices this week. Guess what? I’ve been living out Scroll 3 for my entire piano career (11 years). How great is that?!

I persist until I succeed, with every single piece, no matter how long it takes. I know, at my level, that you can’t expect to play a song perfectly in a month. It takes time, constant practice, patient practice. It takes hard work, but it’s SO worth it. And really, it wouldn’t give me such a great feeling if I didn’t have months of hard work put into it…how much more for my very life?

I have an excellent unconscious attitude whenever I sit down to practice. Here are a few things that I found…

I always play my very best…unless of course I’m just doing something for fun. Otherwise, I can’t even think of not doing my best…it makes no sense. So, now I just need to apply that to the other 22 1/2 hours of my day.

I know beforehand that the song is going to take a lot of work. I know that it will be worth a lot of work. Quite often, I listen to a recording (ding ding ding) of the piece, so I know what it will eventually sound like. I take it in bite-sized pieces and don’t expect to achieve everything at once.

I persist until I succeed. When I feel like going to my room and crying because I’m so frustrated because my fingers are not doing what I want them to and I just can’t get it!…I calm myself (ok, I may bang on the piano a little in the process), then I slow way down and work out the problem until I get it right…even if in doing so I drive both myself and my family crazy.

I also hardly ever dwell on my frustrations or bad points, because I know it does no good. And if I’m nervous and I begin to think about disasters that could happen while I’m performing, I immediately imagine a good performance, or if I can’t, I think about something else positive. (Law of Substitution, anyone? I’ve known it for years in piano…)

You might say I have a mastermind every week – with my piano teacher 🙂

I also know that persistent, focused, and continuous practice is necessary if I’m to accomplish anything.

(I suppose all these things apply to school too, but…I love piano, and that’s where I thought of it.)

When I realised all these things and how they’ve made me wonderfully successful in piano…it was a huge “aha” moment. Huge. I’m so happy this week! I’m trusting more in the exercises we’re doing, and even stepping up my game a little. Yay!

Master Key Week 10 – Continuing

There’s not much to report on progress this week, as I was out for three days due to a horrible bout with a stomach bug. I remained more positive during the illness than I expected (possibly because I was half-dead hahaha), and I got some good imagining in as well.

I suppose it might be a good thing to say that the habits/promises are quite strong – even while I was sick I read my index cards a few times, and started the new scroll (it was exhausting to talk for an extended period of time to I didn’t read anything aloud), and even tried doing my sit lying down. It made my head hurt though lol!

But I don’t like to end on an “un-insightful” note ;), so I’m putting in a few songs that I think are wonderfully inspiring and that, when I heard them, reminded me of all the stuff we’ve been working on in the Master Key…but I’ll leave you to make your own links 🙂

Master Key Week 9 – Me becoming me

On Sunday night, when I was doing my last DMP read for the night, I grew numb about it suddenly. Up until then, I’d been thinking, This is so cool, and I am so crazy. But I believed I could do it: accomplish my DMP…live an extraordinary life!

And then…numbness. No feeling at all. I didn’t understand. It was just a sort of apathy: DMP…eh, bleh, maybe, I don’t know if this is actually what I want…So I dissected my feelings and found that I was doubting myself. I had been repeating to myself the quote “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there.”

I finally figured out why I had this apathy. It’s because my DMP is so awesome! But…it was so awesome I couldn’t even relate to it. It’s crazy! Absolutely crazy, and somewhere, somehow, I began to doubt myself. And the doubt didn’t show up as I can’t do this, I don’t think it’s even possible, that sort of thinking. It was I don’t know if this is really what I want. I mean, I’m only 17, can I plan my whole life now? Do I really want to do this? And of course, this line of thinking is because I know (or my subconscious knows) that I’ve been raised to know that there’s “no such word as ‘can’t'”. So the “I can’t” thinking would meet with total rebellion and utter annihilation.

Ugh. I’m so sneaky with myself. It’s annoying. But I guess I should celebrate? Because I’m finding out my weaknesses.

Anyway. I was doubting myself, and I responded with apathy because that’s what I’ve trained myself to do. It’s given me a somewhat happier life in the smaller things, but it’s apparently manifesting itself in something much bigger…which is not good!

Mom and Dad say we can’t go to the movie today? Darn. Well, make the best of the situation. Go play, forget about the movie, don’t want it anymore, because that will only make you miserable.

I can’t make a party because of a schedule conflict? Oh well, c’est la vie. Just enjoy the evening as best as you can, and don’t bother feeling sad about the party.

My father consistently reschedules his visits when I’ve been looking forward to them for a week or more? Don’t bother looking forward to his visits…don’t care, or I’ll just get hurt.

So, with this training of myself, is it any wonder that I’m apparently scared to death to look forward to my DMP’s manifestation? Is it any wonder that I’m already (subconsciously!) saying, “Don’t look forward to it, don’t anticipate it, don’t get your hopes set too high just in case it doesn’t happen? Just in case something goes wrong?”

Now I must tell myself to buck up and hope. Hope hope hope and believe believe believe. This is my life! – not one incident, or even a series of incidences. I must feel about it the way I feel about a family reunion: I hope and pray and have such an intense longing for all of us cousins and my aunts and uncles and parents and grandma to be all together, and I KNOW it will eventually happen, one way or another. I just know. I need to translate that same faith and desire into my DMP.

Even when I discovered all of this, I was still having trouble with feeling. So I broke down my DMP for myself. First, I went through and read the phrases, asking myself after each one, “Can I do this?” Most of the answers were “Yes”. If I hesitated at all, I asked myself, “Can I learn to do this?” (And of course reminded myself of the quote, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.”) Well, I know I can learn to do anything, so the answer was “Yes”. “All right, then once I’ve learned to do it, can I do it?” “Duh – yes!” After I got through my entire DMP that way, I went back to each phrase and asked, “Now that I can do this, am I willing to do this?” The answers were “Yes”. Excellent. Then I said, “Ok, so now that I’ve established that I can do these things and I am quite willing to do them…DO THEM!” And then I read my DMP out loud the way I was supposed to. There wasn’t a huge breakthrough in my enthusiasm…but the apathy was mostly gone, and it’s been much better ever since. (I also occasionally yell at myself the last sentence from my week 5 post: “However we tell our story is the way it will be!!!!“)

A couple of webinars ago, Mark mentioned something that really struck me. He told us to see things from our future self’s perspective. I’m sure we’ve all heard the quote “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Well, this week I’ve changed that up a little to “Be the person you wish to become”. I’ve been asking myself how my future self would react to various situations/people I encounter, and how my future self would be. I remind myself that my future self only has the limitations I transfer to her (thank you again Mark for that wisdom!!!), so I make sure not to transfer uncertainty, fear, or negativity.

In sum, there haven’t been any huge “aha” moments this week…but certainly a couple of quiet discoveries and changes.

 

Master Key Week 8 – Don’t worry (be negative), be happy

I’ve finally made it for 26 hours without dwelling on a negative thought for even a second. I’m very proud…and I’ve also recently started over. Progress is happening 🙂

I was doing pretty well with the mental diet on Wednesday, but then I had trouble with one of my piano pieces. It’s one of the two pieces I’ll be playing for college auditions, and I had spent about 20 minutes going through and working on different sections that needed improvement. When I played through the entire piece, only a couple of sections showed improvement. I was SO frustrated! I began freaking out. I have auditions in 2 months – 2 months! – and this is terrible! Arrghhhh!!!!!! After I had gotten away from the piano and cooled down a bit, I figured that since I had already dwelt on a negative thought, I might as well go back to it and attempt to correct it. As I mentioned above, I have two pieces that I’m preparing for college auditions. The other one is going quite well – I love it, it’s memorized, and coming along quite nicely. The one I was having trouble with is also memorized…it’s just a longer piece; a work in progress. (It’s by Beethoven…he’s usually troublesome 😉 ) After considering this, I had an “aha” moment: I’m halfway there. Two months away…I’m halfway there. It just needs some more work, the other one is coming well…the glass isn’t half empty – it’s half full. Of course, it helped a great deal when I had my piano lesson the next day and my playing was improved – it just took a little time for all that practice to sink in. The point is, though, that I completely changed my perspective by focusing on the positive instead of the negative. (It was very relaxing, too!)

Also – we were supposed to unplug all the TVs in our house and eliminate any other distractions. Well, I didn’t unplug our two TVs, but since I hardly watch any TV, watching no TV has been super easy. On the call on Sunday, I deleted the standard computer card games of Solitaire, Free cell, Spider Solitaire, and Hearts, as well as Minesweeper. They’re now hanging out in my Recycle Bin. I didn’t think they were very distracting, but when Mark emphasized being fully present in everything we do…I realised that I should delete them. Usually when I’m watching a video or on a call, one of those games is up – I’m still paying attention to whatever I’m listening to, but it gives my hands a little extra occupation. And I’ve found myself sort of mindlessly going to play them for no reason…soooo, they’re gone now. I don’t really miss them, either!

Another thing I gave up was Youtube (except for a few minutes when I just had to show my mom a hilarious video). 😦 I looove watching funny videos, and music videos, and lyric videos, and listening to classical music and hearing the different interpretations of pieces, and…well, I’m sure you get the idea.

HOWEVER. I have been extremely efficient and effective with my use of time. I especially impressed myself because I was out all day on Monday and couldn’t get any school work done, yet I got caught up on Tuesday and am perfectly on track for this week. I also got my service done on Tuesday. SO proud of myself. Especially! because one of the phrases in my press release has come true this week – “When I work, I work and I’m extremely productive…” – it’s so exciting! I love it 🙂